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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807551">plow through the fields of the nephilim</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/staubfingers/pseuds/staubfingers'>staubfingers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, Fix-It of Sorts, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Sort Of, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:08:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807551</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/staubfingers/pseuds/staubfingers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not a love story. It's the story of a selfish man being loved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>plow through the fields of the nephilim</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I had a lovely conversation with <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/GTSat/pseuds/GTSat">GTSat</a> who had so many interesting thoughts and questions regarding Andrés' sexuality in another fic that I started to write something about it. So thank you very much!<br/>This is written from Andrés' perspective and it was kinda hard, because he really isn't a <em>nice</em> person and I tried to stay true to his character. Well, I have seen seasons one &amp; two the last time when they aired, so I mainly relied on later season and fanfics, lol.   Even though it's not a completely “happy” story, the 'dubious consent' tag is just there because I mentioned the way he treated/abused Ariadna.<br/>Title is from <em>Nucleus</em> by <em>Witchcraft</em>, and beware of my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's fairly obvious that Martín is gay. Sure, when Andrés met him for the first time he disappeared into a bathroom with another men to come back only half an hour later, lips swollen and readjusting his clothing, so there wasn't a way for Andrés to <em>not </em>know. However, even without that incident he would probably have realized it a few weeks into their acquaintance. Martín isn't shy about the way he is, regularly his eyes are following other men hungrily, he even flirts with some of them in this unashamed way of his, and strangely enough it doesn't bother Andrés.</p><p>Ever since learning about that some men are lying with each other he frowned upon it, even felt somewhat appealed by the concept, and it might be for the fact that Martín never showed any interest in him, or because he isn't downright feminine like queers normally are, but Andrés merely stops caring about Martín's sexuality. At first it's a minor inconvenience and when their bond turns into a friendship he's ready to forget about it.</p><p>-</p><p>Neither of them has a permanent residence so they find themselves in nearby places every now and then, and whenever they do they meet for dinner and talk through the nights. Soon Andrés finds out they are rather alike with their shared interests in art and history, enjoyment of expansive food and clothing, and above all the love of making easy money. Thus no two years after meeting for the first time they plan and execute their first heist. They make an excellent team and Andrés only then realizes what will be possible if they'd only combine their minds and skills to think <em>bigger</em>.</p><p>Around the same time Martín starts to show an attraction to him. For the sake of the prosperity they'll surely achieve through further collaboration Andrés decides to ignore it as well.</p><p>-</p><p>“Did you ever experience sex with another man, Andrés?” They are drunk on wine and on succeeding in another heist and are sitting in the kitchen of a small house in the middle of nowhere.</p><p>“No,” Andrés says, smiling despite not wanting Martín to continue with this line of questioning.</p><p>“You're really missing out on it. A man just knows how to touch you <em>right</em>, to make you cum like you never did before.” Martín's eyes are heavy lidded and he leans over the table, closer to Andrés, grin on his face.</p><p>“I'm positive there is nothing I'm missing out on,” he answers, still patient.</p><p>“Well,” Martín laughs and sits upright again, “You know where I am if you ever change your mind.”</p><p>Even though Martín starts to talk about another suubject then, acting like nothing has happened, Andrés retires to bed early.</p><p>-</p><p>His marriage fails and when he tells Martín about his wife leaving him Martín doesn't even try to hide his delight and it's more than obvious that he thinks he has a chance now. Andrés pretends to be heartbroken, primarily to see if it'll stop Martín's advances, and surprisingly it does.</p><p>A few months later he meets another woman, a small, beautiful and clever blonde one, and he proposes soon after since she makes him happy and he doesn't feel like being alone any longer.</p><p>“You can't be serious!” Martin growls, fury all over his face, “You were left not three months ago, you cannot marry again, already!”</p><p>“Oh we won't, we have to wait until I am legally divorced.”</p><p>“Then why the hurry? You hardly know her.” The pain is so evident in his eyes that Andrés is positive Martín will begin to weep. Fortunately he doesn't.</p><p>“Well, my friend, I just love far too easily.”</p><p>Martín turns pale and his lips disappear into a thin line, the anger he clearly feels seems to send vibrations through his body. Curious, Andrés observes him, and it's probably a pledge to their friendship that Martín forces himself to calm down and only says, “I hope you know what you're doing.”</p><p>-</p><p>He asks Martín to be his best man and naturally he says yes since he always agrees no matter what Andrés asks of him. Of course, it's mutual, with the only the small difference that Martín would never request Andrés to do something that clearly hurts him. This might make Martín the better person, but Andrés never cared about being good and it feels undeniably wonderful to be loved by another person without deserving it.</p><p>And that Martín does love him is as obvious as his gayness now, especially when he bites his tongue all through the reception and is drunk before the first toast. It's another proof of his moral superiority when Martín congratulates him and his new wife without giving away any of the bitterness he feels, and Andrés might even envy him if Martín wasn't so miserable all the time.</p><p>Two hours later he disappears with a tall, dark haired man, and Andrés can't keep himself from smiling.</p><p>-</p><p>They always have touched a lot. A hand on the nape of the neck or on a shoulder, a hug, sometimes even a kiss on the cheek. Andrés felt uncomfortable about it when he realized that Martín was attracted to him, looked for a sign that a hand lingered longer than usual, that knuckles brushed inappropriate places, but nothing like that has ever happened so he stopped thinking about it. Strangely, ever since he's aware that Martín is in love with him, he finds himself touching Martín more than ever before. At first it wasn't a conscious decision, but then it's a way of testing the limits, to see if and when Martín will finally break.</p><p>-</p><p>“He is in love with you,” Sergio observers after spending not yet a week with him and Martín. It must be more than obvious by now when even his inexperienced little brother sees it. His wife never commented on it, of course, but she has never shown an interest in Martín, or anything regarding Andrés' life for that matter.</p><p>“Yes, I am aware.”</p><p>“So what about you,” Sergio asks slowly, “Do you love him, as well?”</p><p>Andrés starts to laugh, his brother is clearly trying to give him an opportunity to <em>come out, </em>“Surely not more than I love you.”</p><p>“I just...” Sergio shakes his head, “Hadn't thought you of all people would be alright with it.”</p><p>“Martín is a remarkable person.”</p><p>Sergio only raises an eyebrow at that.</p><p>-</p><p>They are fighting soundly, and Martín even starts to throw the expansive crockery onto the floor that Andrés inherited from an old lady who had a liking in him. It's about a business transaction gone wrong none of them wants to take the blame for, and it's not like it didn't happen before, but this time Martín is particular furious. When the major part of the crockery lies shattered to his feet and he still is shaking in anger Andrés has had enough. With a few steps he's at Martín, grabs him by the shoulders and pushes him into the next wall.</p><p>“What is this about?” His own voice is tight with anger now, and he has to stop himself from slamming Martín into the wall once more, just to hear the satisfying <em>thud </em>of a head hitting stone again.</p><p>“You now what this is about!” Martín shouts, and after a few seconds repeats it, lower this time, “You know <em>exactly </em>what it is about.”</p><p>He had wondered when Martín would finally reach his breaking point, but he never imagined it being over something so unrelated. “You are no good at hiding your feelings, my friend.”</p><p>Martín huffs, all strength and anger seemingly leaving his body, “Why did you never say anything when you knew how I feel for you?”</p><p>“Do you really need to hear it?” Andrés comes a small step closer, places one hand carefully on Martín's head as if to sooth the pain he inflicted earlier, “I don't feel the same.”</p><p>“Then why don't you leave me?”</p><p>“Because our friendship is most precious to me,” he answers without even thinking about it. And Martín has a small smile on his lips, is smiling through the hurt and humiliation like he always does. Without saying anything else Martín goes home.</p><p>-</p><p>They don't see each other for nearly six months and it's the longest they've spent apart since they met for the first time five years ago. While he's weirdly proud of Martín, Andrés can't deny he misses him and the way he is so eager to please. He gets more and more short tempered as Martín's calls get fewer and the things he tells him more superficial. His wife leaves him, but it has nothing to do with it, at least he thinks so, he doesn't remember what she accused him of when she stood crying in front of him, bags already packed.</p><p>A divorce is expensive, so he looks into a new place to break into, and when he finds something it's only by chance that he needs the help of an engineer to get through with it. </p><p>-</p><p>It's only after the successful burglary when Andrés learns what made Martín distance himself – he has a <em>boyfriend</em>. At least that is what the guy introduces himself as when Andrés walks into Martín's rented house. He is everything Martín thankfully never was: loud, dressed in extravagant clothing, and so feminine that Andrés thinks it is a rather ugly girl for a few seconds. He is disgusted.</p><p>Without saying a word he leaves, angry Martín even got him into this situation. He decides to ignore Martín until he <em>ends </em>this, but of course he is just as stubborn, so two weeks later Andrés follows the <em>boyfriend </em>in order to talk. It's a nice little chat, and when he visits Martín the next day the guy is surprisingly gone. Neither of them comments on it.</p><p>-</p><p>Martín comes to visit after spending a few months back in Argentina. He looks tired and years older, shoulders sunk with a burden he doesn't share with Andrés. When Martín sits down and only picks at the, without a doubt, delicious meal Andrés has cooked he thinks about asking what has happened, but decides against it. Naturally, Martín gulps down the wine like he always does, and it's not quite dark yet when he lost the majority of his ability to speak.</p><p>Andrés doesn't mind, Martín is usually rather pleasant while drunk and it's no different this time. He smiles and laughs, and seems to have forgotten about whatever made him so aggrieved in the first place.</p><p>At some point, when they retired into the living area and Andrés begins to tell him what he has been up to the last few weeks, Martín lies down and places his head in Andrés' lap like they never did anything else.</p><p>“Go on,” Martín says after Andrés stayed silent for a moment.</p><p>It's weirdly intimate and even though it feels like they just crossed a line it's <em>comfortable</em>. He hesitates for another minute then continues where he left, looking at Martín's slowly relaxing facial features. Following an instinct he places a hand on the forehead, painting small circles into the skin.</p><p>Martín sighs audibly and closes his eyes, his head weighing somehow twice as much in Andrés lap.</p><p>“I missed you,” Martín mumbles when Andrés finished talking, his hand now caressing the brown, soft hair.</p><p>Andrés only smiles, and wonders not for the first time how this evening would end if Martín wasn't a man.</p><p>-</p><p>Most people don't want to know the date of their death, Andrés always claimed to be different though. Of course, you always think this date to be somewhere in the distant future and not a few short years ahead. There are treatments, they say, treatments to extend his life span, but they won't cure him. </p><p>The worst thing is the piteousness of his situation, dying a slow, undignified death without being in control over it and he will never admit to it out loud, but he's scared.</p><p>-</p><p>“How does melting and stealing all the gold in the Bank of Spain sound to you?” Martín asks, grin on his lips.</p><p>“Tell me more.” It certainly sounds like a rather spectacular way to go.</p><p>-</p><p>He has always been better on his own, he just didn't like it too much, so when he meets Tatiana he rashly decides to make her a part of the plans, not just the one to rob the Bank, but the one for his last few years as well.</p><p>Martín is furious and tries to hide it, only argues that bringing another person in, so many weeks into planning, could be a liability, and even when Andrés tells him about the proposal he keeps his mouth shut.</p><p>-</p><p>It's the night before the ceremony when Martín comes into his room, drunk and eyes traitorously red. Since he knows that Tatiana is sleeping in another part of the monastery tonight - abvoe all Andrés is a traditionalist despite this being his fifth wedding - he doesn't seem to deem it necessary to knock, and just waltzes in as Andrés is about to go to bed.</p><p>“Don't do it,” he whispers, “Don't marry her.”</p><p>“All those weeks and you decide to tell me the night before the ceremony?” Andrés voice is flat and he feels the anger start to boil inside of him.</p><p>“I tried to,” Martín says, coming closer suddenly, “I tried to tell you so many times, but it doesn't matter because you <em>knew</em>, and you still brought this <em>woman</em> into our plan and now you want to marry her,” he pokes a finger into Andrés' chest, “And you don't even love her.”</p><p>Andrés takes hold of Martín's hand, forces it down so aggressively that he sees him winch in pain, “What makes you think you can judge my love for her?”</p><p>“I see how you look at her,” Martín nearly shouts, some spit is hitting Andrés' cheek. Then he adds in an almost quiet voice, “And I see how you look at me.”</p><p>“This will never happen.”</p><p>“Why? Because I'm a man?” Martín laughs humorously, “You're a fucking coward.”</p><p>Without awaiting an answer he storms out of the room.</p><p>-</p><p>Andrés marries Tatiana the next day and can't stop himself from looking over his shoulder, hoping Martín will show up after all. It might be his loneliest wedding.</p><p>-</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Sergio is the first one saying they should leave as well. One week passed and Martín didn't come back, neither answered their calls, and it's evident he won't in a foreseeable future. They are all giving Andrés side glances that make it obvious who they are blaming for Martín's departure, but none of them has the guts to say a word, so they abandon the plan and get ready to go their separate ways once again.</p><p>Funnily enough the same night Tatiana tells him, she unfortunately made a mistake by marrying him and it would probably be better if they'd go <em>“their own way in life”</em>.</p><p>He doesn't even care to argue.</p><p>-</p><p>“I think this is a new record, even for you,” Sergio says, half mockingly, half worried.</p><p>“We fell as fast out of love as we fell into it. Fitting, don't you think,” Andrés answers, and it sounds foolish even to his own ears, “But tell me, brother, now that we are short of an extraordinary plan, I think I remember you dreaming about printing money?”</p><p>Sergio grins, “Give me some weeks and I'm ready to go.”</p><p>-</p><p>After staying in the hospital for a few days to get another treatment he is dizzy, nauseous, and unable to sleep. Those side effects are normal, he is told, and they might even get worse, but other patients show a positive reaction to the poison they pump into his veins after all.</p><p>Lying awake once again and starring at his celling he makes up his mind: he refuses to spend his last years with feeling like shit and being all alone, and there is only one person who is selfless and stupid enough to stay with him through this, so he has to get him back.</p><p>-</p><p>Martín ignores his calls and that is new since he always came running with the slightest raise of a hand. It's an ironic twist of fate that everyone decides to leave him the moment he truly wants them to stay. If Andrés was a spiritual man he'd think it's karma getting around, or a god making him pay for his sins, but he isn't, and so he's certain he gets what he wants in the end as long as he's ready to take more drastic measures.</p><p>-</p><p>As long as they have known each other Martín always went back to a small house on the country side whenever something went wrong. Andrés never asked about what made the place so special, but it has always been obvious that it was some sort of shelter. Tired of waiting for Martín to finally calm down and to answer his calls Andrés goes there and isn't surprised to find Martín's car in the driveway.</p><p>He knocks and would have gotten the door slammed right back into his face, if he didn't placed his foot over the threshold. “You were right.”</p><p>“About what?” Martín asks, looking as hurt as the night they saw each other for the last time.</p><p>“About not marrying her, about being a coward,” and after a small pause he adds, “about the way I looked at you.”</p><p>This is apparently all that it took for Martín to forget about his anger, he places his arms around Andrés body, a little too tight, and buries his face in his neck. Andrés returns the embrace since having Martín too close is still better than not having him at all.</p><p>-</p><p>He knew upfront he had to go through with it in order to convince Martín of his change of heart, but he can hardly stop himself from pulling back when their lips meet for the first time after a short and somehow strained conversation about what they have been up to. It's more an instinct than real discomfort, so he closes his eyes, lets himself get lost in the feeling, and tries to block out who he's kissing. He might even enjoy it.</p><p>It's only a few days until they're back to the way it was before, with some added touching, kissing, and sharing a bed of course. Andrés doesn't mind as much as he thought he would, and when he lies awake again, still not able to sleep more than a few short hours each night, and Martín is pressed to his side, looking content and peaceful, he sees that this arrangement definitely has it's perks. Though, the big downside of their new relationship is that sex is supposed to happen at some point, and while he could avoid it until now, he won't be for much longer.</p><p>-</p><p>Sergio finally calls to tell him he's ready to set his plan into motion. “Great,” Andrés says, “I'll bring Martín.” And he hangs up before his brother can protest.</p><p>-</p><p>Even though they don't talk about it, it's obvious that Martín gets more and more wary about Andrés not showing any sexual interest in him, so the night before they leave he gets it over with. They are both slightly drunk and when he starts to kiss Martín and opens the buttons of his shirt he is surprisingly told off. </p><p>“Let me,” Martín mumbles and sinks to his knees between Andrés legs. He has his hand around Andrés' cock in a second, and strokes it slightly before asking, “May I?”</p><p>Andrés nearly laughs with the shy consideration, nods and closes his eyes. Martín certainly knows what he's doing, even though Andrés rather not think about how he learned it, and he's coming faster than he deemed possible. When he opens his eyes again Martín is sitting next to him, damp spot in his trousers, and smiling like an idiot in love.</p><p>Well, he is, and Andrés smiles back in his own post-orgasm bliss.</p><p>-</p><p>Sergio wants to be mysterious and tells everyone they are not allowed to share any personal information. While Andrés understands why Sergio wants to keep their familiar relationship a secret he doesn't see this logic applying to him and Martín, so after he introduced himself he points at him and says, “This is my partner.”</p><p>He mainly does it to annoy his brother, but seeing the happy smile on Martín's face is not too bad either.</p><p>-</p><p>The plan is surprisingly perfect and Andrés starts to believe in not all of them dying nor being sentenced to a life in prison. And even though the intimate physical contact with Martín still feels strange he's glad he brought himself to do it since no one is working and thinking as in sync with him as Martín.</p><p>-</p><p>It's late one night and they are sitting outside, glasses of wine in their hands and a blanket over their legs to keep the cold away. The silence is a rare benefaction these days and Andrés enjoys their usual pleasant togetherness.</p><p>“I think this is the happiest I've ever been,” Martín says and puts his head on Andrés shoulder. He doesn't disagree.</p><p>-</p><p>Martín likes to get fucked and Andrés finds out that it's not too different from fucking a woman. Besides, it's not like he has to do any of the work, he let's Martín prepare himself and then pushes him onto the bed or against the next wall, closes his eyes and enjoys the tight fit around his erection. He hasn't even touched him, not more intimate than before anyway, but Martín doesn't complain, on the contrary he seems to love being told what to do and to be pushed around. And while Andrés might not be attracted to him, he gets more and more aroused by Martín's utter devotion to him.</p><p>-</p><p>They go into the Mint, and despite all the chaos and troubles it's <em>fun. </em>Well, at least for Andrés, the rest of the team starts to get more erratic and hot-headed with every passing day. He wouldn't have cared, he never really thought he'd get out of this alive, but there is still Martín and he rather not see him in prison, let alone die.</p><p>-</p><p>He always liked women, and especially beautiful ones, so who could blame him for letting them work close to him? Apparently, Martín does.</p><p>“What is this about? Are you building yourself a harem?” He is furious, shouts so loud that the women are shaking in their seats.</p><p>“I don't see the problem with a little special treatment,” Andrés grins.</p><p>“For whom? You or them?”</p><p>“Oh, the fun will certainly be mutual.”</p><p>The look on Martín's face is one of total disbelieve, before he is shaking his head and says, “I should have known better.”</p><p>He doesn't bother them again.</p><p>-</p><p>The thing is, Martín's heart will be broken anyway, so why not do it sooner than later? The brown haired girl is there and all too willing to please him. Just like Martín always has been, only with the small difference that he never cried while getting down on his knees. He strips her nude since he missed to see a naked female body, and fucks her slow and good until she cries out either in pain or bliss. He doesn't ask. </p><p>-</p><p>Martín is more or less ignoring him for the remaining days in the Mint, and while Andrés likes to tell himself he doesn't care at all he gets just as stupid and careless as the other members of their little team. In the end he even gets them nearly shoot down so maybe Sergio was right about the 'no personal relationships'-rule.</p><p>They get out off there though, only lost two men, and are somehow joined by the hostage Andrés thought he got killed. All in all it's a success.</p><p>-</p><p>After two days they sail into international waters and they all are ridiculously happy. He walks over to Martín who's standing at the rail, back to the others, and looks down into the dark sea.</p><p>“I'm sick,” Andrés finally confesses.</p><p>“I know,” Martín answers after a few moments, still not facing him, “Knew something was wrong when you came back to me, found your pills a few weeks later.”</p><p>“Why didn't you say anything?”</p><p>“Since when are we talking about important things?”</p><p>-</p><p>For a moment he is afraid Martín won't come with him and Sergio, that he'll insist on going with one of the others, but when the time for departure comes he doesn't say anything, just tells the rest goodbye without showing any emotion. Later, when they're yet on another boat, and Sergio has retired early to his bed, Martín finally looks at him.</p><p>“I didn't want to know because I realized what it meant, that you didn't come back for me.”</p><p>“Of course, I did come back for you,” Andrés answers immediately and it only feels like half a lie.</p><p>“No, you just needed <em>someone</em>, I was merely the easiest option,” he laughs, “Worst thing about it is that I don't even care.”</p><p>“So, we are a perfect fit after all, aren't we?” Andrés says, smile on his face.</p><p>-</p><p>They end up on a beautiful beach with more money than they ever dreamed of and the looming presences of a inevitable death at the back of their minds.</p><p>“Are you still happy?” Andrés asks one night when Martín rests his head on his naked chest.</p><p>“More than ever.” He feels the smile against his skin and kisses the top of Martín's head.</p><p>“What about you?” Martín says after a few minutes of silence.</p><p>“I don't want to be anywhere else,” and he hasn't been that honest in a long time.</p><p> </p>
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